MontanaFun&Facts
Montana
Weekly For 1-27-03
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BAD JOKE MONDAY
Hanging is too
good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and
quoted."
Fred Allen (Sarcasm is the sour
cream of wit)
***
Why do they call it "permanent" when it must be
constantly redone?
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INSTRUCTIONS
FOR LIFE
"Botanists
say that trees need the powerful March winds to flex
their trunks and main branches, so the sap is drawn up to
nourish the budding leaves. Perhaps we need the gales of
life in the same way, though we dislike enduring
them." Jane Truax
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FREE! DINNER
FOR TWO AT
PERKIN'S FAMILY RESTAURANT AND BAKERY
Cedar Street
& I-15 - Helena, Montana
Open 24 hours - Great Family Dining
Free dinner includes entree, drinks and dessert.
Winner will be drawn at 5 PM Tuesday 1-28-03.
TO ENTER
SEND E-MAIL TO
fortune@mtsky.com
Just say "YES, I'll take the dinner for two!"
Name ________________________________Phone__________________
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FOR SALE
1981 Kawasaki KZ 650 cc 4 Cylinder CSR Low Mileage
Looks Good * Runs Great Make Offer
495-9554
Click Here
for Picture & Info
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All marriages are happy - it's the
living together afterward
that causes all the problems. rubin
***
"No statue has ever been put up to a critic." Jean
Sibelius (1865-1957)
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THOUGHTS WHILE WAITING TO TESTIFY
AT A LEGISLATIVE HEARING
An army of sheep led by a
lion
would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. Arab
proverb
***
"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in
politics is
that you end up being governed by your inferiors." Plato
***
"It is better to deserve honors and not have them
than
to have them and not deserve them." Mark
Twain
***
Be kind and considerate with your criticism.
It's just as hard to write a bad bill as it is to write a
good bill. Malcom Cowley
***
Being
defeated is often only a temporary condition.
Giving up is what makes it permanent. Marilyn
vos Savant
***
Adversity
has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous
circumstances, would have lain dormant. Horace
65-8 B.C.
***
When you
have to make a choice and don't make it,
that is in itself a choice. psychologist (1842-1910)
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OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I NEEDED TO KNOW THIS!
***
Fry me a
river. If you have a dollar and 45 seconds, the
Ore-Ida
french-fry machine, now available in some colleges and
hospitals, can
deliver a steaming bag of fries with 25% less fat than
fast-food fries.
***
What
is alike on both ends,
has nothing in the middle, and will not exist in the
future?
2002!
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Fortune Cookies
A picture may be
worth a thousand words
but it uses up a thousand times more memory.
***
Speak less of your plans - You will get more of them
done.
***
"No man has a good enough memory to make a
successful liar." Abraham
Lincoln
***
CenSuess
2000
Person One or
Person Two? Person Red or Person Blue?
Answer all and send it out, so we can get a proper count.
Results arrive 2010, the date we do it all again!
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During an
attack of laryngitis I lost my voice To
communicate, my husband devised a system of
taps. One tap meant, "Give me a kiss." 95
taps meant "Take out the garbage."
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WINDOWS
TIP WINDOWS
TIP WINDOWS
TIP
You can do a
screen capture in Windows. All you have to do is press
Print Screen and then copy the file from the Clipboard
into whatever program
you want to use to edit and print the screen capture.
SUPER FAST
SCROLLING TIP
There are a number
of ways to scroll a page in Microsoft Internet Explorer
6. First of all, you can press the Page Up and Page Down
keys. You can press the Spacebar to scroll
down and Shift + Spacebar to scroll up. You can use the
Up and Down arrows in your keyboard's number pad, and you
can also right-click in the scroll bar
and choose from one of the options offered in the
resulting pop up menu.
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Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick.
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DON'T CALL ME! I'LL
CALL YOU!
http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/edcams/donotcall/index.html
The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) NO CALL LAW
Gives consumers a choice about whether they want to
receive most telemarketing calls. Consumers soon will be
able to put their phone numbers on a national “do
not call” registry. It will be illegal for most
telemarketers to call a number listed on the registry.
***
WHAT'S IT SAY? WHAT'S IT SAY?
Everyone is
examining their broker statements more closely to figure
out where the money went. The North American Securities
Administrators Association has a guide to help you
decipher the information your statements contain. (Adobe
Acrobat is needed.)
http://www.ssb.state.tx.us/InvestorInformation/UnderstandBrokerageAcctStmt.pdf
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 FLY THE FLAG! EVERY DAY IS A
VETERANS DAY
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OWIM (Oh Well
It’s Monday)
No one should
live by the early bird policy
without finding out whether he classifies as a bird or a
worm.
***
********************************************
GO AHEAD! FORWARD THIS
NEWSLETTER TO YOUR FRIENDS!
(With their permission of course!)
NEED MORE FUN IN YOUR LIFE?
CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE
WHAT?
YOU'VE HAD
TOO MUCH FUN ALREADY?
YOU CAN'T TAKE EVEN ONE MORE BAD JOKE? AHHHHHH!
CLICK HERE TO UNSUBSCRIBE
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The
MontanaFun&Facts Newsletter has been serving Montana
for over six years with Wit, Wisdom, Business News and
Entertainment.
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MontanaFun&Facts
is distributed every week to hundreds of Montanans
Pass it on! Editor Del
Lonnquist
Thanks.
May good fortune smile on you the whole week through! Ed.
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