THANKS LEGISLATORS AND
LEGISLATIVE STAFF!
MontanaFacts&Fun
News /
Entertainment Weekly
* 4-28-03
*******************************************
BAD JOKE
MONDAY
WORDS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR
The boss said while you're sick, he'll do all your work
personally.
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INSTRUCTIONS
FOR LIFE
Don't Insult the Alligator till
after you cross the river.
*******************************************
FREE!
DINNER FOR TWO AT
PERKINS FAMILY RESTAURANT AND BAKERY
Cedar Street & I-15 - Helena, Montana
Open 24 hours - Great Family Dining
Free dinner includes entree, drinks and dessert.
Winner will be drawn at 5 PM Tuesday 4-29-03.
TO ENTER SEND E-MAIL TO: fortune@mtsky.com
Just say "YES, I'll take the dinner for two!"
Name
________________________________Phone__________________
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THOUGHTS
WHILE WATCHING DEBATE FROM
THE HOUSE AND SENATE GALLERIES
"He
uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...
for support rather than illumination." Andrew
Lang
***
"He can compress the most words into the smallest
idea
of any man I know." Abraham
Lincoln
***
"He has the attention span of a lightning
bolt." Robert Redford
***
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go. Oscar Wilde
***
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope
without an address? Mark Twain
"Doubt who you will, but never yourself." Christian
Bovee
***
Bob Dole Said:
I was making a speech on the U.S.Senate floor and said,
"Now, Gentlemen, let me tax your memories,"
and Ted Kennedy jumped up and said,
"Wow! Why haven't we thought of that before?"
*******************************************
SESSION
STATISTICS as of 04/25/2003
Introduced Bills:
1360 * Unintroduced Bills: 847 * Total: 2207
Bills Active in the House: 9 * Bills Active in the
Senate: 19
Resolutions Adopted: 58 * Bills on Governor's Desk: 23
Bills Signed by Governor: 514
Bills Returned with Governor's Amendments/Line Item Veto:
1
Bills in Process to Consider Governor's Amendments: 12
Bills in Conference/Free Conference Committee Process: 15
Bills Tabled in House Committee: 60
Bills Indefinitely Postponed in Senate Committee: 63
Failed/Probably Dead in the House: 333
Failed/Probably Dead in the Senate: 199
Drafts Cancelled: 359
*******************************************
JOKES THAT GO OVER LIKE A LEAD BALLOON
A PICTURE IS
WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
But it uses up a thousand times the memory
***
Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.
***
To my sweetheart: My cooking's gotten better since I
fondue.
***
Middle Age: When actions creak louder than words.
*******************************************
EVERYTHING
YOU EVER WANTED TOP KNOW ABOUT SARS
SARS:
Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome
at: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/severeacuterespiratorysyndrome.html
SARS is a
respiratory illness of unknown cause recently been
reported in Asia, North America and Europe. It begins
with a fever greater than 100.4°F. The fever is
sometimes associated with chills or other symptoms,
including headache, malaise, and body aches. Some persons
experience mild respiratory symptoms at the outset. This
site by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,
provides information on this illness.
*******************************************
OH,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I NEEDED TO KNOW THIS!
The
American record for the greatest number of patented
inventions is 1,093.
The record is held by Thomas Alva Edison.
***
Blackmail,
Alfred Hitchcock's 1929 masterpiece, was the first
British sound film.
***
The
hardness of ice is similar to that of concrete.
*******************************************
Fortune
Cookies
You
have the capacity to learn from your mistakes.
You will learn a lot today.
*******************************************
Proverbs
12:20
There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil,
but joy for those who promote peace.
*******************************************
OWIM
(Oh Well It’s Monday)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for
music." - Billy Wilder
***
To keep your marriage brimming, with love,
whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever
you're right, shut up!
*******************************************
SIGNS
In the
front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully,
we'll wait."
***
In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking,
we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
action."
***
On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."
***
At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what
you're looking for, you've
come to the right place."
*******************************************
 FLY THE FLAG! EVERY
DAY IS A VETERANS DAY
*******************************************
Click Here For : WHAT
IS AN AMERICAN
*******************************************
IT ONLY
TAKES ONE CLICK TO FORWARD
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now.
(Let them know it's coming!)
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Thanks a lot for letting us come into your homes every
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or lease our list of subscribers to anyone, at anytime.
(The Small Print) Copyright 2003, The
MontanaFacts&Fun Newsletter. All rights reserved.
Information in this document is provided without warranty
of any kind, expressed or implied, including but not
limited to the implied warranties of , fitness for a
particular purpose and freedom from infringement. The
user assumes the entire risk as to the accuracy and the
use of material contained within this document. The
MontanaFacts&Fun Newsletter, it's publishers and
sponsors will not be liable for damages arising from the
use of this information, including, but not limited to
incidental, punitive, and consequential direct or
indirect, damages.
The
MontanaFun&Facts Newsletter has been serving Montana
for over six years with Wit, Wisdom, Business News and
Entertainment. This e-mail is never sent unsolicited; you
have received The MontanaFun&Facts Newsletter because
you have subscribed to it or someone has forwarded it to
you. To remove yourself from this list (or to add
yourself to the list if this message was forwarded to
you),
CLICK HERE! * Editor
Del Lonnquist
Thanks.
May good fortune smile on you the whole week through! Ed.
©.Partners
of Success 2003. All rights reserved.
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"He is a self-made man &
worships his creator."
John Bright
***
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the
vices I admire."
Winston Churchill
***
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope
it's nothing trivial.
Irvin S. Cobb
***
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many
obituaries with great pleasure."
Clarence Darrow
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