Montana
Facts&Fun Newsletter
News /
Entertainment Weekly
* 6-2-03
Bad Joke Monday
Mary:
If men are so afraid of commitment, why do they get married at all?
Jill: They do it so they don't have to hold in their stomachs anymore.
***
True or False: A slight tax increase will cost you two hundred dollars.
A substantial
tax cut will save you thirty cents.
*******************************************
Instructions For Life
It's no use having a good memory
unless you have something good to remember.
*******************************************
Contest - Dinner for two
Perkins Family Restaurant and Bakery
Cedar Street & I-15 - Helena, Montana
Open 24 hours - Great Family Dining
Dinner includes entree, drinks and dessert.
Winner will be drawn at 5 PM Tuesday 6-3-03.
E-Mail name and phone number to: fortune@mtsky.com
Just say "YES, I'll take the dinner for two!"
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Thoughts while waiting in the rain
for the High School Graduations to begin.
***
Works of imagination should be written in very plain
language; the more
purely imaginative they are the more necessary it is to be plain.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge, poet and philosopher (1772-1834)
***
Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone,
Kindness in another's trouble, Courage in your own. Adam
Lindsay Gordon
***
The gem cannot be polished without friction,
nor man perfected without trials. Chinese Proverb
***
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.
Henry David Thoreau, naturalist and author (1817-1862)
***
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a
friend,
an acquaintance, or a stranger. Franklin P. Jones, businessman
(1887-1929)
***
Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter. John
Keats
***
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every
rocket fired signifies,
in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not
fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed. Dwight D. Eisenhower,
U.S. President
***
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old
people
are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt, diplomat and writer
(1884-1962)
***
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Jokes that go over like a lead balloon
***
"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told
me to quit going to those places." Henny Youngman
***
There is a guaranteed way to get what you want: want less.
***
We spend the first six years teaching our children to walk and talk,
and the next 15 telling them to sit down and be quiet .
***
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person
to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
***
See The
Top 50 National & State Internet News Links Here!
www.CouponsMontana.com
***
Web Link Of The Week:
Largest Earthquakes in the United States
at: http://neic.usgs.gov/neis/eqlists/10maps_usa.html
This site by the U.S. Geologic Survey provides information and data on the
largest earthquakes in the U.S., including: a text description of the event,
maps of its range,
isoseismal maps, and, when available, pictures of its
destruction.
Also available is data on the Largest Earthquakes in the World at http://neic.usgs.gov/neis/eqlists/10maps_world.html.
*******************************************
Oh Thank You. Thank You, I needed to know this
The Main Library at Indiana Univ. sinks over an inch
every year. Engineers did not
take into
account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
***
In Massachusetts, the Pittsfield School committee announced that students could
fulfill their physical education requirement by reading pamphlets about exercise.
*******************************************
Fortune
Cookies
No man has a good enough
memory to make a successful liar.
***
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its
limits.
*******************************************
Proverbs:
3:25
Have no fear of sudden disaster
or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked.
*******************************************
OWIM
(Oh Well It’s Monday)
One More French Joke
The best defense is to stay out of
range. French Proverb
***
*******************************************
True or False - Test For New Campers
A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish.
A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
***
In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband
of your underwear.
***
The guitar of the ageing 60's folk singer at the next campsite would make excellent kindling.
***
Effective Jan.1, 04, you will have to enlist in the Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.
***
In an emergency a drawstring from a hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.
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Put subtract me in
subject line and push send
*******************************************
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Thanks a lot for letting us come into your businesses and homes every
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P.S. You have my personal guarantee I will not sell
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anyone, at anytime, ever!
(The Small Print) Copyright 2003, The Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter. All rights reserved.
Information in this document is provided without warranty
of any kind, expressed or implied, including but not
limited to the implied warranties of , fitness for a
particular purpose and freedom from infringement. The
user assumes the entire risk as to the accuracy and the
use of material contained within this document. The Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter, it's publishers and
sponsors will not be liable for damages arising from the
use of this information, including, but not limited to
incidental, punitive, and consequential direct or
indirect, damages.
The
Montana Fun & Facts Newsletter has been serving Montana
for over six years with Wit, Wisdom, Business News and
Entertainment. This e-mail is never sent unsolicited; you
have received The Newsletter because
you have subscribed to it or someone has forwarded it to
you.
To remove yourself from this list (or to add
yourself to the list if this message was forwarded to
you),
Put add me or subtract me in
subject line and push send * Editor
Del Lonnquist
Thanks.
May good fortune smile on you the whole week through! Ed.
©.Partners
of Success 2003. All rights reserved.
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