Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter

Montana Facts&Fun Newsletter
News & Entertainment Weekly   11-15-04.
Our 7th year of publication in Helena, Montana!
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Bad Joke Monday
All I want in life is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
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Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
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It's Here! www.MontanaFree.com
The FREE On Line Auction for the Helena area.
It's like a community-wide garage sale open 24/7. List as many items as you wish.
Help the community by offering your fellow residents an
opportunity to get some use from items you no longer need.
Check it out!    No Fees - No Charges - IT'S FREE
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All of Today's Best Comic Strips Are Here
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101 Local, State & National Internet News & Information Sources
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Tip O' The Week
Click here to try the new Microsoft Search Engine
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Instructions For Life
Adversity introduces a man to himself.
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Advice is like castor oil - easy enough to give, but dreadfully uneasy to take.
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Advice is like cooking - you should try it before you feed it to others.
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Happiness Is:
A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television.
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  AutoConceptsMt.com Is A Great New Helena E-commerce Site
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An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
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If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure
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Myrna Loy Center
The Myrna Loy Center is offering an exciting new 2004-05 season of live performances.
For more information, please visit our 2004-05 Live Performance web page.
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You Be The News Reporter! Here are the news sources top reporters use.
.***
Thoughts While Waiting For The New Joni Rodgers Book
No Mountain High Enough (Raising Lance, Raising Me) - With Linda Armstrong
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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
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"Celebrate each small victory as a great awakening and each
small awakening as a great victory." Alexandra Firestein
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The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase;
if you pursue happiness you'll never find it. C. P. Snow
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The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature,
the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions
about our centrality in the cosmos.   Stephen Jay Gould
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Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever!
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"Nothing is more costly, nothing is more sterile, than vengeance." Winston Churchill
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Fortune Cookies
If you don't want anyone to get your goat, don't let them know where you have it tied
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"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines
what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it."   Lou Holtz
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  The Classic Sayings:
Fortune gives many too much, but none enough.
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The power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable;
for the happy impute all their success to prudence and merit.
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You don't get paid for the hour.
You get paid for the value you bring to the hour. Jim Rohn
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Did you know that someone who is "pauciloquent"
uses as few words as possible when speaking?
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Overheard in a golf course parking lot: Golf is a terrible game.
I hate it. I'm just glad I don't have to play it again until tomorrow.
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It's a new age: Freedom of the press now means no-iron clothes.
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The Question?
What do retailers use to describe the two-week period after Christmas?
What phenomenon is observed when a restaurant hires a mediocre chef?
What lets you know when it's time to quit playing fetch with your dog?
The Answer!
The Law of Diminishing Returns
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Service Tip Of The Week = ASAP
Acknowledge the problem, Sympathize with the client,
Accept the responsibility, Promise action.
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A special place for special people - Townsend Personal Care
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Montana Facts Link Of The Week: WebMD
Open the Web site, and the patient is waiting. The patient is an
unclothed mannequin, either male or female. Where do you hurt?
Click the part that hurts, and up pops a list of symptoms.
http://my.webmd.com/medical_information/check_symptoms/default.htm
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FOR SALE - 1983 LARSON NANTUCKET EXPRESS
22 Foot Cabin - 5.3 Liter Mercruiser I/O Less then 660 Hours
Sunbrella Camper Top - Lowrance Fish Finder (new)
Loaded with great accessories. Easy Loader Tandem Axel Trailer included.
Stored Indoors every winter. Call Bob 406-453-2472
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Oh Thank You. Thank You, I needed to know this
The Sahara Desert comprises an area as large as Europe.
Its total land mass is some 3,565,565 square miles.
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The first commercial radio station in the U.S.,
KDKA Pittsburgh, began broadcasting commercials in November 1920.
First commercial broadcast? Election results.
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Jokes that go over like a lead balloon
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains.
Please, pull yourself together then .
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Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam.
It's because you're too tents.
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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible.
Who said that?
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Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep.
Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
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Doctor, Doctor I've lost my memory!
When did this happen?
When did what happen?
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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
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Affordable Web Page Design 439-4217
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Great Local E-Commerce Site - www.TeamSkains.com
<><* ><>
Proverbs 14:34
Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people.
<><* ><>
OWIM (Oh Well It's Monday)
Always remember you're unique....just like everyone else.
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The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction.
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Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or evil.
But you still don't want to get any on you.
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THE FINAL WORD
"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The
optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."   Winston Churchill
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Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a
trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
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Free Beverage With Deli Sandwich AT Bob's Valley Market

Smile! It Makes Them Wonder.
If any of the links in the body of this email, fail, please copy and paste them into the address line of your
internet browser and hit the enter button. We're thrilled to have you join our online community newsletter,
but we want to ensure you do not receive any unwanted email.
If your name has been added in error and you would prefer not to receive our newsletter
just put subtract in the subject line and push send.
Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. We look forward to sending you some smiles
and keeping you informed on a wide variety of issues. (The Small Print) Copyright 2003, The Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter. All rights reserved. Information in this document is provided without warranty of any kind, expressed or implied, including but not limited to the implied warranties of , fitness for a particular purpose and freedom from infringement. The user assumes the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of material contained within this document. The Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter, it's publishers and sponsors will not be liable for damages arising from the use of this information, including, but not limited to incidental, punitive, and consequential direct or indirect, damages.
* Editor Del Lonnquist

May good fortune smile on you the whole week through! Ed.
©.Partners of Success 2004. All rights reserved.

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