Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter

Montana Facts&Fun Newsletter
News & Entertainment Weekly   8-9-04.
Our 7th year of publication in Helena, Montana!
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101 Local, State & National Internet News & Information Sources
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Bad Joke Monday
Bob. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Al. To get the Chinese news paper...
Bob. I don't get it.
Al. Neither do I. I get the IR.
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Pat. My computer is exhausted.
Nancy. Why is that?
Pat. It had a hard drive.
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Instructions For Life
Remember that winners do what losers don't want to do.
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There are 10 kinds of people in this world.
Those who read binary numbers and those who don't.
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Free Beverage With Deli Sandwich AT Bob's Valley Market
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Start the week with a smile, and feel free to share this smile letter with others
They can sign up for their own smiles here!
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Happiness Is ...
Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One says to the other, "Can you smell fish".
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AutoConceptsMt.com Is A Great New Helena E-commerce Site
Great Auto Detailing, Striping, Tinting & XM Radio too!
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You Be The News Reporter! Here are the news sources top reporters use.
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Thoughts While Waiting For The Fat Bachelors To Start Playing
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It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look
farther than you can see. Winston Churchill
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At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man
hits his thumb with a hammer. Marshall Lumsden
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We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence therefore, is not an act, but a habit.    Aristotle
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The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy
to tell others how much they love them while they're still alive. Battista
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No man chooses evil because it is evil;
he only mistakes it for happiness.   Mary Wollstonecraft
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We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it
than to consume wealth without producing it. George Bernard Shaw
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Fortune Cookies
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
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Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. Anonymous
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The Classic Sayings:
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. Abraham Lincoln
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The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof,
a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths,
and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us. Paul Valery, 1895
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I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery
are identical whether you play or or not. Fran Lebowitz
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Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable
that we have to alter it every six months. Oscar Wilde
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It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven
being good at billiards or golf. H. L. Mencken
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. Groucho Marx
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Service Tips Of The Week
Just because something doesn't do what you planned,
doesn't mean it's useless. Thomas Edison
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A special place for special people - Townsend Personal Care
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It's Funny How ...
Anybody can become angry - that is easy; but to be angry with the right
person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the
right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's
power and is not easy.   Aristotle
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Save A Buck, Or Two Or Three On A Stageline Pizza
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Montana Facts Link Of The Week:
Today in History http://lcweb2.loc.gov/ammem/today/today.html
Today in History is a Library of Congress presentation of historic facts highlighted
by items from the American Memory collections.
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Oh Thank You. Thank You, I needed to know this
Question: What's the difference between going to jail
and installing a new Microsoft product on your computer?
Answer: When you go to jail you get one free phone call.
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Jokes that go over like a lead balloon
When we were kids, ten cents was big money.
How dimes have changed!
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Man: I'm new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?
Little boy:  Yeah but it will cost you Ten Bucks..
Man: Why should I pay you so much?
Boy: Cause bank directors are always well paid.
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Affordable Web Page Design 439-4217
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Great Local E-Commerce Site - www.TeamSkains.com
<><* ><>
Proverbs 10:28
The prospect of the righteous is joy, but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing.
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  See The Top 50 National & State News Links Here!
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OWIM (Oh Well It’s Monday)
There are three ways to get things done:
1) do it yourself
2) hire someone to do it
3) forbid your kids to do it
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Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise" I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
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Tee Shirt Front - 60 is not old!
Tee Shirt Back - If you're a tree.
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THE FINAL WORD
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist. Indira Gandhi
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. George Burns
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We think in generalities, but we live in detail. Alfred North Whitehead
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Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal
that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be. Hazlitt
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The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong
is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong, goes wrong
it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair. Douglas Adams
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Who are the 2004 candidates for Montana state offices?
Find their information and web pages here.
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Smile! It Makes Them Wonder.
If any of the links in the body of this email, fail, please copy and paste them into the address line of your
internet browser and hit the enter button. We're thrilled to have you join our online community newsletter,
but we want to ensure you do not receive any unwanted email.
If your name has been added in error and you would prefer not to receive our newsletter
just put subtract in the subject line and push send.
Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. We look forward to sending you some smiles
and keeping you informed on a wide variety of issues. (The Small Print) Copyright 2003, The Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter. All rights reserved. Information in this document is provided without warranty of any kind, expressed or implied, including but not limited to the implied warranties of , fitness for a particular purpose and freedom from infringement. The user assumes the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of material contained within this document. The Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter, it's publishers and sponsors will not be liable for damages arising from the use of this information, including, but not limited to incidental, punitive, and consequential direct or indirect, damages.
* Editor Del Lonnquist

May good fortune smile on you the whole week through! Ed.
©.Partners of Success 2004. All rights reserved.

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