Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter

Montana Facts&Fun Newsletter
News & Entertainment Weekly   1-10-2005
Our 8th year of publication in Helena, Montana!
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LEGISLATORS: WELCOME TO HELENA
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Bad Joke Monday
People who cough incessantly never seen to go to the
doctor, instead they go to 9 am meeting of the Business & Labor Committee.
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Best Epitaph of 2004: "He was a simple man who died of complications."
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My doctor is an eye, ear, nose, and wallet specialist.
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www.MontanaFree.com - The FREE On Line Auction For Helena
List as many items as you wish.   No Fees - No Charges - It's FREE
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Instructions For Life
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Be tough minded but tenderhearted.
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Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
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101 Local, State & National News & Information Sources
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Happiness Is:
Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.
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Coffee (n.): a person who is coughed upon.
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MontanaFacts Web Site Of The Week: Best Colleges Index
College rankings, detailed school directory, interactive tools, a step-by-step college admissions guide,
articles, and more! New for 2005: an expanded school directory and a majors search!
http://www.usnews.com/usnews/edu/college/rankings/rankindex_brief.php
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Thoughts While Waiting To Testify
Before The State Administration Committee
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There is no right way to do a wrong thing.
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It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him. Steinbeck
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To aim at the best and to remain essentially ourselves is one and the same thing. Stuart
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Life is not holding a good hand; Life is playing a poor hand well. Danish proverb
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Enjoyment is not a goal, it is a feeling that accompanies important ongoing activity. Goodman
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In the final analysis there is no solution to man's progress but the day's honest work,
the day's honest decisions, the day's generous utterances and the day's good deed. Luce
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The best portion of a good man's life is the little, nameless,
unremembered acts of kindness and love.
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Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. Henry Ford
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Not the owner of many possessions will you be right to call happy: he more rightly
deserves the name of happy who knows how to use Gods' gifts wisely and to
put up with rough poverty, and who fears dishonor more than death. Horace
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I come to the office each morning and stay for long hours doing what has to be done
to the best of my ability. And when you've done the best you can you can't do any better.Truman
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"The biggest mistake we could ever make in our lives is to
think we work for anybody but ourselves."   Tracy
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Fortune Cookies
Nothing is ever lost by courtesy.
It is the cheapest of pleasures, costs nothing, and conveys much.
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Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. Mahatma Gandhi
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  The Classic Sayings:
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Nobody talks so consistently about God as those who insist that there is no God.
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We've just moved into our dream house.
It costs twice as much as we ever dreamed it would.
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Service Tip Of The Week
Legislators Are Volunteers
Treat Them Kindly! Make them feel at home in Helena.
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Oh Thank You. Thank You, I needed to know this:
Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
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We should all swap problems; everyone knows how to solve the other fellow's.
<><* ><>
Proverbs 3:27
Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.
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OWIM (Oh Well It's Monday)
LEGISLATIVE SPEAK:
Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.
(Birds of a feather, flock together.)
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Surveillance should precede salutations.
(Think before you speak.)
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Pulchritude poses possesses solely cutaneous profundity
(Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.)
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Classic One-Liners
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
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COLE'S LAW: Thinly sliced cabbage
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Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
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Editing is a rewording activity
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Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy
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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure
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What if there were no hypothetical questions?
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THE FINAL WORD
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There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. It could be a right number.
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Class is an aura of confidence that is being sure without being cocky. Class has nothing to do with money.
Class never runs scared. It is self-discipline and self-knowledge. It's the sure footedness
that comes with having proved you can meet life. Ann Landers
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One's true happiness depends more upon one's own judgment of one's self, on a consciousness
of rectitude in action and intention, and in the approbation of those few who judge impartially,
than upon the applause of the unthinking undiscerning multitude, who are apt to cry
Hosanna today, and tomorrow, Crucify him. Benjamin Franklin
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Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control. These three alone lead to sovereign power. Tennyson
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Every man stamps his value on himself... man is made great or small by his own will. Schiller
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What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left. Oscar Levant
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You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light. Chateaubriand
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I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have,
beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself. Marlene Dietrich
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Smile! It Makes Them Wonder.
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and keeping you informed on a wide variety of issues. (The Small Print) Copyright 2003, The Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter. All rights reserved. Information in this document is provided without warranty of any kind, expressed or implied, including but not limited to the implied warranties of , fitness for a particular purpose and freedom from infringement. The user assumes the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of material contained within this document. The Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter, it's publishers and sponsors will not be liable for damages arising from the use of this information, including, but not limited to incidental, punitive, and consequential direct or indirect, damages.
* Editor Del Lonnquist