Montana Facts & Fun Newsletter

Montana Facts&Fun Newsletter
News & Entertainment Weekly   5-2-2005
Our 8th year of publication in Helena, Montana!
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Bad Joke's Monday
A duck walks into a drug store,
"I'd like some Chapstick, please, and just put it on my bill!"
***
The really frightening thing about middle age
is that you know you'll grow out of it. Doris Day
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   Recycle FREE at www.MontanaFree.com
Buy, Sell, Trade, Give Away   No Fees - No Charges - It's FREE
***
Instructions For Life
There are two cardinal sins from which all others spring:
Impatience and Laziness. Franz Kafka
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"Motherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope." Bill Cosby
***
The Grand Opening Celebration for the
Fort Peck Dam Interpretive Center and Museum will be held on May 7, 2005.
This will be the public's first chance to see the new exhibits
that will be installed in April. There will be displays on Dinosaurs of the
Hell Creek Formation, including the Tyrannosaurus Rex known as Pecks Rex.
Speakers will discuss a variety of topics, including Wildlife, Paleontology, Boomtowns and more.
***
Thoughts While Waiting For The Grand Opening
Of The New Fort Peck Dam Interpretive Center
I have learned to use the word 'impossible' with the greatest caution. Wernher von Braun
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Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. Robert Benchley
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If two men agree on everything,
you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking. Lyndon B. Johnson
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Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living.
After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four. Katharine Hepburn
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Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know. Cullen Hightower
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The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. Doug Larson
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It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. Abraham Lincoln
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Confusion is always the most honest response. Marty Indik
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The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution. Bertrand Russell
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OWIM (Oh Well It's Monday)
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Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
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The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
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As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
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For Writers Only
"The wastepaper basket is the writer's best friend. Isaac Bashevis Singer
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"I write what I like, and I find likable characters boring". David Shore
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Service Tip Of The Week
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
***
Oh Thank You. Thank You, I needed to know this:
George Jetson and his family lasted a year on Sunday nights before
becoming a Saturday morning staple.
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Jokes That Go Over Like A Lead Balloon
The taxpayer -- that's someone who works for the federal government
but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. "Pres. Ronald Reagan
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O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. Saint Augustine
***
FLY THE FLAG! EVERY DAY IS A VETERANS DAY
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U.S. Department of Labor Poster Page
http://www.dol.gov/osbp/sbrefa/poster/main.htm
Some of the statutes and regulations enforced by agencies within the
Department of Labor require that notices be posted in the workplace.
The Department provides electronic copies of the required posters.
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  Classics From the Capital City
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." Albert Einstein
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The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. Thomas Carlyle
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I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. Garrison Keillor
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If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. Albert Einstein
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The more I study religions the more I am convinced
that man never worshipped anything but himself. Sir Richard Francis Burton
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Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit.
Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself. Peter da Silva
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The truth is always a compound of two half- truths,
and you never reach it, because there is always something more to say. Tom Stoppard
***
Montana Association for the Blind
2005 State Convention and Low Vision Symposium
May 13-15, 2005 Red Lion Colonial Hotel, Helena Montana
No Charge - Plan now to attend this FREE Event
For Full Schedule Of Events - Click Here
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Proverbs 23:25
May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!
<><* ><>
The Fortune Cookie
"Anyone who doesn't make mistakes isn't trying hard enough."
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Here's a great local web site: Cowboy Entertainer Magazine
An E-Zine by Western Entertainers for Western Entertainers
Larry Gibson web site has everything you ever wanted to know about
Cowboy singers and entertainers. http://www.cowboyentertainer.com/
Take a long look at this one. You'll enjoy it.
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KOOL - Keep it Out Of Landfill
Recycle it at www.MontanFree.com
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The Final Word From Treebranch
"Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or
freed a human soul." Mark Twain
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All food is Fat-Free - if you don't eat it.
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A ten-gallon hat holds less than a gallon.
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"The greatest discovery of any generation is that human beings can
alter their lives by altering the attitudes of their minds." Albert Schweitzer
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Montana Information
http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/30000.html
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101 Local, State & National News & Information Sources

MONTANA INFO
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Montana Legislature 2005

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Montana Quick Facts

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All Sport Stadium Blankets

Amsoil Products

Auto Concepts

Benjamin Moore Paint Store

Davisson, Ron & Lorna

Deer-D-Fence

Eric Wordal
Masterpiece Portraits

Lewis & Clark County
Humane Society

Mike Logan Cowboy Poet

Identity Theft Bob Pancich

Scuba Dive Montana

Steve Skains Flooring

Team Skains

Tizer Gardens

Townsend Personal Care

Wildlife Woodcarving

Woody's Car Wash

Montana Distance Calculator
Quickly Calculate Distance Between Major Montana Cities
Enter two cities and up comes the answer.
For Example:
The distance from Anaconda to Wolf Point is 494 miles.
Libby to Baker is 711 miles.

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May good fortune smile on you the whole week through! Treebranch
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