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Montana
Facts&Fun Newsletter
News & Entertainment Weekly 7-25-2005
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Our 8th year of publication in Helena, Montana!
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Bad Joke Monday
Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?
I don't understand the uproar over gas prices, I just put $10
worth
into my truck and it didn't cost any more than it usually does.
Helena & Montana WiFi Hot Spots
Add
New - Lewistown Public
Library
701 W. Main (Thanks Bridgett)
E-mail if we're missing your favorite spot
Attention Mike Logan - World Famous Cowboy Poet
It was Swiss chemist Jacques Edwin Brandenberger
who invented cellophane, in 1908.
Thoughts
While Waiting To Hear The Stampede Announcer
The American people are very generous people and will
forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity.
Will Rogers
Ever notice how long weekends are like rainbows? They always look
great from a distance, but seem to disappear whenever you get up close.
When Sir Walter Raleigh introduced tobacco into England in the
early 1600's, King James I wrote a booklet against it.
When the archer misses the mark,he turns and looks for the fault
within himself.
Failure to hit the bull's eye is never the fault of the target.
To improve your aim, improve yourself." Gilbert
Arland
How come you never see Cupid with a girlfriend?
He wrapped himself in quotations- as a beggar would enfold
himself
in the purple of Emperors. Rudyard Kipling
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. Bertrand
Russell
A person is only as big as the dream they dare to live.
Physical strength can never permanently withstand the
impact of spiritual force. Franklin D. Roosevelt
Jokes That Go Over Like A Lead
Balloon
A seminar on time travel will be held in two weeks ago.
Overheard in a brokerage: "I worry about economists
who are so
young that they think the Great Depression was ended by Prozac."
To a worm, digging in the hard ground is more relaxing than going
fishing.
A rumour without a leg to stand on will get around some other
way.
Montana Facts & Fun Service Tip Of The Week
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't
be promoted.
Classics From The Capital City
"I want you to know that I will not make age an issue of this campaign.
I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience."
Ronald Reagan during a 1984 presidential debate with Walter Mondale
Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.
Ronald Reagan
Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.
Ronald Reagan
But there are advantages to being elected President.
The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret.
Ronald Reagan
How The Internet Changes Old Sayings
- Home is where you hang your @
- The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
- Speak softly and carry a cell phone.
- C: is the root of all directories.
- Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
- The geek shall inherit the earth.
- Don't byte off more than you can view.
Oh Thank You. Thank You, I needed to
know this.
The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able
to remember the word you want.
The
Fortune Cookie
A wise man knows everything; a shrewd man knows everybody
Proverbs 14:34
Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to
any people.
O W I M (Oh Well It’s
Monday)
Refrigerator Signs
Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.
Ring Bell for Maid Service...If no answer do it yourself!
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease
to be amused.
101
Local, State & National News & Information Sources
The Final Word From Treebranch
"Security is not the meaning of my life.
Great opportunities are
worth the risk." Shirley Hufstedler
"The way for a young man to rise is to improve himself in every way
he can, never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him." Abraham Lincoln
"Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know
where we can find information upon it." Samuel Johnson
"Speech is silver, silence is golden; speech is human,
silence is
divine." German Proverb
"The best way to keep one's word is not to give it." Napoleon
Bonaparte
"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either
charming or tedious." Oscar Wilde
"The golden rule is that there are no golden rules." George Bernard
Shaw
"Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers
so deeply that he had to invent laughter." Friedrich Wilhelm
Nietzsche
If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us,
we would all be millionaires. Abigail Van Buren
The
Physical Inactivity Cost Calculator
Provides government leaders,
policy-makers, and businesses a way to estimate
the financial costs of a physically inactive company or community.
Get the data needed to make your calculation here Montana
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