Montana Facts&Fun
News &
Entertainment Weekly 3-27--06
Our 9th year of service
in Helena, Montana
Bad Joke
Monday
From The Nurses Calendar (Thanks Linda!)
Old people shouldn't eat health food.
They need all the preservatives they can
get. Robert Orben
Send us your "One
Liner" for the newsletter.
Thanks!
Today's Montana News Fast
Ill-health of body or mind is defeat. Health alone is
victory.
Let all men, if they can manage it, contrive to be healthy! Thomas Carlyle
Instructions For Life
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures
and tolerates your successes. Doug Larson
Community Service E-bay
Style Auction - Try It! F*ree
KMTX Presents RED CROSS RADIO THEATER
"A Day In The Life Of Old Time Radio."
An original radio play by the KMTX Staff.
A fantastic bunch of characters and all for a good cause.
Saturday night April 1st at 7:00 pm. Helena Middle School
CAUTION: THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE!
Quote
Of The Week
To think bad thoughts is really the easiest
thing in the world. If you leave your mind
to itself it will spiral down into ever increasing unhappiness.
To think good thoughts, however, requires effort.
This is one of the things that discipline - training - is about. James
Clavell
WiFi HOTSPOTS
For Helena & all Montana
Thoughts While Shaving
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at
the
end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.
The only things in the middle of the road are yellow
stripes and dead armadillos. Jim Hightower
Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too
much. John Wayne
A dose of adversity is often as needful as a
dose of medicine. Old West Pioneer Saying
When your hand is in the lions mouth, withdraw
it quickly Sam Houston
Jokes That Go Over Like A Lead
Balloon
Reasons Not To Be A Doctor (Thanks Again Linda)
If you were a pathologist you'd be in a dead-end job
If you were a biologist you'd be in jeans all the time
Anesthesiology would put you to sleep
Cell specialists are too cultured for your taste.
You haven't got the heart to be a cardiologist
You really couldn't face it if you were a dermatologist.
You haven't the spine to be a chiropractor.
You're no cut out to be a surgeon.
Got a favorite "Lead Balloon Joke?" C'Mon,
send it to us. Thanks!
Buy - Sell - Trade - Give Away
Good Service Tips Of
The Week
Pessimism is a misuse of the imagination
Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity.
The soul must see through these
eyes alone, and if they are dim,
the whole world is clouded. von Goethe
Classics From The Capital
City
Bumper sticker seen near Cistern, TX, in the heart of cattle-ranching country:
Seven Days Without Beef Makes One Weak.
No man in the world has more courage than the man
who can stop after eating one peanut. Channing Pollack
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. Dorothy Fulheim
Why do tug boats push their barges?
Montana Facts Link Of The Week MENSA
- Are You A Genius?
Take the test and find out! - http://www.mensa.org/workout2.php
You have half an hour to answer 30 questions.
Press the Submit Answers button for an instant answer.
Please time yourself and be honest!
Oh Thank You. Thank You, I needed to know
this!
Bugs Bunny is the world's most popular rabbit: Since 1939,
he has starred in more than 175 films. He's been nominated for three Oscars,
and won one in 1958, for "Knighty, Knight, Bugs" (with Yosemite Sam).
101 Local -
Regional - National - World Wide News Links
Proverbs 12:20
There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace.
O W I M (Oh Well It’s Monday
What are those kids saying now? The
instant message glossary.
BRB - be right back *
BTW - by the way *
GTG - got to go
IMHO - in my humble opinion *
LOL - laughing out loud
OTOH - on the other hand *
WB - welcome back *
Dr. O - marijuana.
POS or P911 - parent looking over my shoulder.
The Fortune Cookie
Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose.
Facts & Fun Newsletter
Archives
The Writer's Block
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes.
Art is knowing which ones to keep. Scott Adams
You think your pains and heartbreaks are unprecedented in the history of
the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things
that tormented me were the very things that connected me with all the
people who were alive, or who have ever been alive. James Baldwin
Once you have decided to keep a certain pile, it is no longer yours;
for you can't spend it. Michel De Montaigne
Great spirits have always encountered
violent opposition from mediocre minds. Albert Einstein
The great acts of love are done,
by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness.
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative,
a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. -Franklin P. Jones
101 Local, State & National News &
Information Sources
The Final Word From
Treebranch
Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
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