Montana Facts&Fun
News &
Entertainment Weekly 5-8--06
Our 9th year of service
in Helena, Montana
Bad Joke
Monday
If you are classified as a
POSSLQ by the Census Bureau,
you are a "Person of Opposite Sex, Sharing Living Quarters."
The Paul Revere Virus:
Warns of impending hard disk attack Once if by LAN, twice if by
C:/>.
Send us your "One
Liner" for the newsletter.
Thanks
The
Gas Guru - Find The Lowest Gas
Prices and Ethanol
Clyde Dailey Says:
Life is simpler when you plow around the
stump.
Today's Montana News Fast
Instructions For Life
At first dreams seem impossible, then improbable, then
inevitable.
Christopher Reeve
Community Service E-bay
Style Auction - Try It! F*ree
Quote
Of The Week
The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a
new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be
released and channeled toward some great good. Brian Tracy
WiFi HOTSPOTS
For Helena & all Montana
Thoughts While Shaving
"Women are expected to do twice as much as men in half the time and
for no credit.
Fortunately this isn't difficult." Charlotte Whitton
1st Female Mayor of Ottawa, Canada
Coffee, chocolate, men . . Some things are just better rich.
"There is only one way to kill capitalism -- by taxes, taxes,
and more taxes." Karl Marx
I like a person who knows his own mind and sticks to it; who sees
at
once what, in given circumstances, is to be done, and does it. William
Hazlitt
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to
be taken seriously.
Hubert H. Humphrey
He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I
ever met.
Abraham Lincoln
Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to
death. Harold Wilson
We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that
we begin
to see the present only when it is already disappearing. R. D.
Laing
The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and
richness to life that nothing else can bring. Oscar Wilde
The reason there is so little crime in Germany is that it's against
the law. Alex Levin
Jokes That Go Over Like A Lead
Balloon
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found" "Don't bother asking him... he's 404,
man."
Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake.
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the heck out of
an
electronic device to get it to work again.
Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
"cube farm" (an office full of cubicles) and everyone's head
pops up over the walls to see what's going on.
Got a favorite "Lead Balloon Joke?" C'Mon,
send it to us. Thanks!
Buy - Sell - Trade - Give Away Do
It All Right Here
Good Service Tip Of
The Week
Confidence on the outside begins by living with integrity on the inside. Brian
Tracy
Classics From The Capital
City
In the depth of winter,
I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. Albert
Camus
Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein
Montana Facts Link Of The Week www.MontanaFree.com
Auctions *Ads * Trades * They are all F*R*E*E at this Helena based
auction web site.
What They're Saying It's
The Cowboy Way
* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
* A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
* Do not corner something you know is meaner than you.
* Every path has a few puddles.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from
bad judgment.
Montana Facts&Fun Newsletter
Oh Thank You. Thank You, I needed to know
this!
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
101 Local -
Regional - National - World Wide News Links
Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up dissension, but love
covers over all wrongs.
O W I M (Oh Well It’s Monday
"Experts in Washington say that if the coast guard's ships
aren't replaced soon,
they will be unable to keep drugs and illegal aliens from entering our
country.
God forbid that should ever happen. Imagine what this place would be like
if
illegal aliens and drugs were able to get in here?" Jay
Leno
The Fortune Cookie
A word of advice...don't give it.
Facts & Fun Newsletter
Archives
The Writer's Block
Toronto Star headline
Marijuana Issue Sent To A Joint Committee
Entrepreneur Magazine
How To publicize your business absolutely free! Send $6 for report.
101 Local, State & National News &
Information Sources
The Final Word From
Treebranch
EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of
you at the movies who,
no matter what direction you lean, follow suit.
ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n.
The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest at a movie theater.
ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n.
The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster
it will arrive.
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline
was missed
or a project failed and who was responsible.
Blowing Your Buffer - Losing your train of thought.
THE FLAG! 
EVERY DAY IS A VETERANS DAY
We need a renaissance of wonder. We need to renew, in our hearts
and
in our souls, the deathless dream, the eternal poetry, the perennial
sense that life is miracle and magic. E. Merrill Root
"Baseball serves as a good model for democracy in action:
Every player is equally important and each has a chance to be a
hero." Edward Abbey
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and
saving
an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life
without even considering if there are men on base." Dave Barry
The higher type of man clings to virtue, the lower type of man
clings
to material comfort. The higher type of man cherishes justice, the
lower type of man cherishes the hope of favors to be received.
Confucius
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Today's Montana News
Weather
for : Helena
Avon
| Clancy
Canyon
Creek
Canyon
Ferry | Corbin
East Helena | Elliston
Jefferson
City | Lincoln
Marysville
| Montana
City
Winston
| Silver
City | Toston
Townsend
| Unionville
Wolf
Creek | York
Military Weather
Bagdad,
Iraq
Serajevo, Bosnia
Ramstein, Germany
******************
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Allen Oil Company
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Cowboy Entertainer
Magazine
Danzer's Paint Store
Deer-D-Fence
Eric Wordal
Masterpiece
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Go Fast Energy Drink
Grandstreet Theater
H & H Trikes Inc.
Lewis & Clark County
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Mike Logan
Cowboy Poet
Montana Boat Center
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Myrna Loy Center
Identity Theft
Bob Pancich
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Steve Skains Flooring
Tizer Gardens
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