Montana Facts&Fun Weekly

            Bad Joke Monday  Halloween jokes to try out on the kids

Q: What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom? A: She flies off the handle.

Q: Why do demons hang out with ghouls? A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend.

Q: Why wasn't the vampire working?   A: He was on his coffin break.

Q: Why did the witch's mail rattle? A: It was a chain letter.

Q: How do you make a milkshake? A: You sneak up behind a glass of milk and yell "Boo!"

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                    Instructions For Life
Your mind can only hold one thought at a time. Make it a positive and constructive one.

                 Fifty Cents an Hour
The Builders and Boomtowns of the Fort Peck Dam
by Helena author/historian Lois Lonnquist, now available in it's second printing.
For information visit MtSky Press at www.FortPeckBoomtowns.com

       Urban Legend of The Week - Have You Heard This One?
In just 4 days all U.S. cell phone numbers will be released to telemarketing companies. FALSE
Check it out at SNOPES.com

                      Quote Of The Week
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. Mark Twain,

             AARP Drivers Safety Classes - Get a discount on your auto insurance - Drive Safely

                         List your Montana website in this newsletter - Here's How!

       Thoughts While Wondering What Happened to Don Dunwell & Al Marx
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

One raindrop fell into a river and it's a different river now

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

All I want in life is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

             Good Service Tip Of The Week
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. Einstein

                                  WiFi HotSpots For Helena & all Montana

             Classics From The Capital City
Q: When do ghosts usually appear? A: Just before someone screams.

Q: What should you say when you meet a ghost? A: "How do you boo, sir? How do you boo?"

Q: Which story do all little witches love to hear at bedtime? A: "Ghoul Deluxe and the Three Scares."
                                <><* ><>
                           Proverbs 14:34
Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people.
                               <><* ><>
               Montana Facts & Fun Web Site Of The Month:   JCTV Television Channel 34
Watch the hottest youth television network. JCTV features music videos from POD to T-Bone and
many styles in between. Exclusive concerts, extreme sports, and some of the best faith-based programs
on TV can also be found on JCTV.

              Oh Thank You. Thank You, I needed to know this!

To say "hello" in Sri Lanka, a person must place their palms together under the chin and bow slightly

               Jokes that go over like a lead balloon
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains.
Please, pull yourself together then .
-0-
Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam.
It's because you're too tents.
-0-
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible.
Who said that?
-0-
Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep.
Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
-0-
Doctor, Doctor I've lost my memory!
When did this happen?
When did what happen?
-0-
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.

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              OWIM (Oh Well It’s Monday)
More Bad Jokes To Try Out On The Kids

Q: When is it bad luck to see a black cat? A: When you're a mouse.
*
Q: What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet? A: A holy terror.
*
Q: How do mummies hide? A: They wear masking tape.
*
Q: Why don't skeletons like parties? A: They have no body to dance with.
*
Q: What instrument does a skeleton play? A: A trombone.

Got something to sell or give away?

           The Writer's Block * Editing is a rewording activity
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. Einstein

We could handle life's stress if we could find the handles.
*
"Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. Mark Twain
*
Anger warms the Invention, but overheats the Oven. Benjamin Franklin
*
Secrets are what we tell everybody else not to tell anybody.

   101 Local - Regional - National - World Wide News Links

                  Fortune Cookies
Life isn't fair but neither is death.

                     The Classic Sayings:
"Quayle-isms"
An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
-0-
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure

                      The Final Word From Treebranch
Most people don't make the same mistake twice, they make it three or four times.

Any bad habit is easier than the corresponding good habit.

Problems that go away by themselves usually come back by themselves.

A pessimist mourns the future.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires. Dear Abby

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Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. We look forward to sending you some smiles and keeping you informed on a wide variety of issues. (The Small Print) Copyright 2005, The Montana Facts & Fun . All rights reserved. Information in this document is provided without warranty of any kind, expressed or implied, including but not limited to the implied warranties of, fitness for a particular purpose and freedom from infringement. The user assumes the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of material contained within this document. The Montana Facts & Fun, it's publishers and sponsors will not be liable for
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May good fortune smile on you the whole week through! Treebranch
©.Partners of Success 2007. All rights reserved.

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