Montana Facts&Fun Weekly

    Bad Joke Monday
Bad spellers of the world untie!

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

       Montana Newspapers

                           Over Heard In The Capitol Cafeteria
Legislator: The secret to a good speech in the Senate is to have a good
                    beginning and a good ending.
Lobbyist: Yeah I know, and you should have them close together.

SESSION STATISTICS as of 3-24 -2007 Legislature Web Page
Bills Active in the House: 98 * Bills Active in the Senate: 224 * Total 322
Bills Introduced: House - 840 * Senate - 560 * Total 1,400

    Instructions For Life
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
he's too old to go anywhere. Billy Crystal

These folks have Great Web Sites! You can too. For as little as $5.95 per month!.
H & H Trikes Inc. | Tizer Gardens | Mike Logan Cowboy Poet | Northwest Trikes
Advanced Spinal Fitness Call us at 406-439-4217 or E-mail Fortune@MtSky.com

    Quote Of The Week
"It appears we have appointed our worst generals to command forces, and our most gifted and brilliant to edit newspapers! In fact, I discovered by reading newspapers that these editor/geniuses plainly saw all my strategic defects from the start, yet failed to inform me until it was too late." "Accordingly, I'm readily willing to yield my command to these obviously superior intellects, and I'll, in turn, do my best for the Cause by writing editorials - after the fact." Robert E. Lee, 1863

   WiFi HOTSPOTS For Helena & all Montana

Now available from MtSky Press, Helena author Lois Lonnquist's new book
Fifty Cents an Hour The Builders and Boomtowns of the Fort Peck Dam
For information visit www.FortPeckBoomtowns.com

                 Thoughts While Watching the Budget Battle
You cannot add to the peace and good will of the world if you fail to create an
atmosphere of harmony and love right where you live and work. Thomas Dreier

When you take a risk and step out of the norm, you run the risk and sometimes you fail.
But you only fail if you give up. J Peterman

Will and I could hardly wait for the morning to come to get at something that interested us. That's happiness. Orville Wright, co-inventor of the airplane

Good manners make any man a pleasure to be with. Ask any woman. Peter Mayle

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -Socrates

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery,
people would stop dying. Rodney Dangerfield

Money can't buy you happiness,
but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. Spike Milligan

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. Bob Hope

We could certainly slow the aging process down
if it had to work its way through Congress Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
as you grow older, it will avoid you. Winston Churchill

    Check Out Montana Voices - Oral History Project

                  Good Service Tip Of The Week
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

                  Classics From The Capital City - They Said What?

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,
"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury Groucho Marx

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. Zsa Zsa Gabor
                  (All of the above from Grandpa's Attic - Thanks!)

Montana Facts & Fun Web Site Of The Month: www.JCTVonline.com
This youth oriented Christian television organization, headquartered in Helena, Montana
operates stations from Montana to Missouri and overseas in American Samoa.
KJJC - TV34 - Helena, Montana, KJCW - TV29 - Sheridan, Wyoming,
KJCX-TV40 - Bozeman, Montana, KJCZ-TV48 - Billings, Montana,
KJCP-TV38 - Pago Pago, American Samoa, KJCJ-TV20 - Joplin, Missouri
KJCA-TV40 - Chanute, Kansas.
     ><>
    Proverbs 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
     ><>
    Oh Thank You. Thank You, I needed to know this!
Q: Where do Generals keep their armies? A: In their sleevies!

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
Sign in the men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.

    101 Local - Regional - National - World Wide News Links

    OWIM (Oh Well It’s Monday)
I'm a Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way!

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

    Got something to sell?

    The Writer's Block
To think bad thoughts is really the easiest thing in the world. If you leave your mind to itself it will spiral down into ever increasing unhappiness. To think good thoughts, however, requires
effort. This is one of the things that discipline - training - is about. James Clavell

When we are mindful of every nuance of our natural world, we finally get the picture: that we are only given one dazzling moment of life here on Earth, and we must stand before that reality both humbled and elevated, subject to every law of our universe and grateful for our
brief but intrinsic participation with it. Elizabeth Gilbert

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the
end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".

    Fortune Cookies
I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. Jefferson

    The Final Word From Treebranch
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk

What would men be without women? Scarce, mighty scarce. Mark Twain

It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire
all schools of art. Oscar Wilde (Right Stan Howe?)

Advice for Public Speakers:
Be sincere; be brief; be seated. Franklin D. Roosevelt

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Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. We look forward to sending you some smiles and keeping you informed on a wide variety of issues. (The Small Print) Copyright 2005, The Montana Facts & Fun . All rights reserved. Information in this document is provided without warranty of any kind, expressed or implied, including but not limited to the implied warranties of, fitness for a particular purpose and freedom from infringement. The user assumes the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of material contained within this document. The Montana Facts & Fun, it's publishers and sponsors will not be liable for
damages arising from the use of this information, including, but not limited to incidental, punitive, and consequential direct or indirect, damages.
May good fortune smile on you the whole week through! Treebranch
©.Partners of Success 2007. All rights reserved.

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