Bad Joke Monday
I don't understand the uproar over gas prices,
I just put $10 worth into my truck and it didn't cost any more
than it usually does.
|
Q. What do fishermen and hypochondriacs have in common?
A. They don't really have to catch anything to be happy.
The Lord loves a cheerful giver, but if you're feeling a
little grouchy, go ahead and give anyway, it may cheer you up.
Instructions
For Life
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's
superiority to all that befalls him. Romain
Fifty Cents an Hour
The Builders and Boomtowns of the Fort Peck Dam
by Helena author/historian Lois Lonnquist, now in it's second
printing.
For information visit MtSky Press at www.FortPeckBoomtowns.com
Quote Of The Week
There's always at least one bolt on anything that's
adjustable that will fit whatever size wrench you don't have.
List
your Montana website in this newsletter - Here's
How!
We swallow with one
gulp the lie that flatters us, and drink drop by drop the truth
which is bitter to us.
Denis Diderot
Success is the ability to go from failure to
failure without losing your enthusiasm. Sir Winston Churchill
So long
as we have enough people in this country willing to fight for
their rights, we'll be called a democracy. Roger Baldwin
When Columbus came to America, there were no taxes, no debts, and
no pollution.
The women did all the work while the men hunted or fished all day.
Ever since then a bunch of do-gooders have been trying to
"improve" the place.
I'm not into working out. My new
philosophy: No pain, no pain.
The reason some people play golf is to wear
clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
Politicians are the same all over. They
promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. Nikita
Khrushchev
After listening to five Senate colleagues
take and hour to make introductory remarks at a hearing,
Sen. Byron Dorgan, (D., N.D.) quipped, "If the Senators
cooperated on a textbook, the introduction would be
450 pages, and the text would be one page." Check
Out Montana Voices - Oral History Project
Church Signboards
The pay isn't much, but the retirement plan is out of this world.
Interested in going to heaven? Apply here for flight
training!
We have a prophet-sharing plan for you.
Patience is the best remedy for any problem.
Figs have the highest dietary fiber content
of any common fruit, nut, or vegetable.
More women than men have earned bachelor's degrees every year
since1982.
Humans aren't the only ones lolling on the
couch and chewing through supersized meals.
About 50% of dogs and cats are overweight, up from 25% in the
1980's. Jennifer Jellison, Veterinarian.
><> Proverbs 24:17
Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let
your heart rejoice. ><>
Montana Facts & Fun Web Site Of The Month: www.MontanaFree.com
E-bay style auction & classified ads for the Helena area.
No Fees, No commissions, No Banner ads, No Pop Up ads, No Kidding,
It's all Free!
Oh Thank You. Thank You, I needed to know this! A nest in which insects or spiders
deposit their eggs is called a "nidus." How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling
Mad.
You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you
can't get it started.
The Writer's Block
* Editing is a rewording activity What ought one to say then as each hardship comes? I was
practicing for this, I was training for this.Epictetus
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an
enemy. Howard W. Newton
You can preach a better sermon with your life than with
your lips. Oliver Goldsmith
Fortune Cookies Mistakes are part of the dues one pays
for a full life.
The
Classic Sayings: Right actions for the future are the best apologies for
wrong ones in the past. Tyron Edwards
Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from
happening. Barbara Tober A conference is a gathering of important people who
singly can do nothing,
but together can decide that nothing can be done. Fred Allen
Senior
Citizen Resources from US Government
The Final Word From Treebranch
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. Aristotle
I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then
live with that decision. Eleanor Roosevelt
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. Laurence
J. Peter
In the United States, doing good has come to be,
like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to
sell. H. L. Mencken
Affordable Web Page Design 439-4217
TIP: To make sure you continue to receive Montana
Facts&Fun in your Inbox add Fortune@MtSky.com to your address or
safe sender list.
