Bad Joke Monday
Banks keep giving me credit.
For that, I'm deeply indebted.

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
***
Every man needs a wife because there are a number of things
that go wrong that one cannot blame on the government.
***
Two fonts walk into a bar. The barman says to them,
"Get out. We don't serve your type here."

                 Instructions For Life
There are four things that you cannot recover in life (Thanks Duane)
(1) The Stone............after it's thrown,
(2) The Word.............after it's said,
(3) The Occasion........after it's missed,
(4) The Time..............after it's gone.

            TWEET of the WEEK 
  Time's arrow is a one-way thing. Memory's arrow,
like the needle of a compass spins in all directions. Russell Hoban

Send in your best Tweet of the Week - We'll use it here

   Thought While Waiting For The By Pass Surgery To Begin
There are now more overweight people in America than 
average-weight people. So overweight people are now average?
***
The Fattest City In the U.S.A. Is Houston, Texas.
According to a Men's Fitness magazine survey.
***
The fittest cities are:
Honolulu, Seattle, San Francisco, Colorado Springs and San Diego.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage...
half shut afterwards."   Benjamin Franklin
***
Innocence dwells with wisdom, but never with ignorance. William Blake
***
Whatever advice you give, be brief. Horace, 20 B.C.
 
         Quote Of The Week 
He who chooses the beginning of a road chooses the place it leads to.
It is the means that determine the end. Harry Emerson Fosdick

    Jokes that go over like a lead balloon
It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable.
Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

Grin! It makes "them" wonder!

            Pennyman - Economic Terrorist 
By Lonnie Lonnquist,  
A novel about a Montana talk show host who
has a plan to keep jobs from going overseas. 
Read The First Two Chapters of Pennyman 
A book for Patriots

Good Service Tip Of The Week
The only limits are, as always, those of vision. James Broughton

          Classics From The Capital City
 To lengthen thy Life, lessen thy Meals.

"The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight but has no vision." Helen Keller

Don't tell me that worry doesn't do any good.
I know better. The things I worry about never happen.

                   ><>  <><
                 Proverbs 25:26
Like a muddied spring or a polluted well
is a righteous man who gives way to the wicked.
                      ><>  <><

                Fifty Cents an Hour  
The Builders and Boomtowns of the Fort Peck Dam
A great Montana book by Helena author/historian
Lois Lonnquist  www.FortPeckBoomtowns.com

       Oh Thank You, Thank You, I needed to know this!
Cats are the only domestic animals that walk directly on their claws, not on their paws. 
This method of walking is called "digitigrade." When cats scratch furniture, it isn't an 
act of malice. They are actually tearing off the ragged edges of the sheaths of their 
talons to expose the new sharp ones beneath.
***
Catherine de Medici was the first woman in Europe to use tobacco.
She took it in a mixture of snuff.
***
Tuna swim at a steady rate of 9 miles per hour for an indefinite period of time
and never stop moving. Estimates indicate that a
15-year-old tuna travels one million miles in its lifetime. 

     The Writer's Block - Editing is a rewording activity
       WHAT THEY WROTE
"Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction?  Fiction,
after all, has to make sense." Mark Twain
***
"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them
pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened." Winston Churchill 

             Fortune Cookie(s)
 There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.   Mark Twain
 
We have seen better days. Shakespeare, "Timon of Athens"

             OWIM (Oh Well It’s Monday)
Relief: What a tree does in the spring
***
Actually, should the truth be known,
there are a lot of good ways to "handle" a woman.
Unfortunately, not one man alive knows any of them.
 
                The Final Word From Herb Treebranch
Americans consume 91,250 more calories per person per year than in 1990.  USDA
***
Secure, relatively high-yielding stocks came to be called blue chips,
a term taken from the game of poker, where blue chips
are more valuable than white or red chips.
***
The longest alphabet is Cambodian.
It has 74 letters compared with the 26 in English.
***
The largest number of movie theaters in one city was 986 in New York in 1913.

Reaction Time Test For Drivers
(Thanks Carl P.)

Montana Facts & Fun Web Site Of The Month: Pennyman.MtSky.com
Read The First Two Chapters of Pennyman here

We Do Websites, Call us at 406-495-9554  Fortune@MtSky.com

Morning Coffee Jig Saw Puzzle  
  Puzzles For Kids (Adults too) | Literature Trivia Games

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May good fortune smile on you the whole week through! Treebranch
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