Bad
Joke Monday Twas the Irish what invented the pipes, you
know, and they gave
them to the Scots as a joke. And
the Scots haven't gotten the joke yet!!" ***
Seamus do you understand French?
Sure I do if its spoken in Irish INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE Pat
and Kyran were getting ready to go on a camping trip.
Pat said "I'm taking along a gallon of whiskey just in case of
rattlesnake bites. What are you taking?"
Kyran said "Two rattlesnakes!" Over
Heard in the Capitol Cafeteria Over
Heard in the Capitol Cafeteria May the roof above us
never fall in.
And may the friends gathered below it never fall out. Instructions
For Life May you live as long as
you want,
And never want as long as you live.
From Out Of
The Past Always remember to forget, The
troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember, The blessings that come each day.
Printer Jams May you live to be a hundred
years,
With one extra year to repent!
Quote
Of The Week "Ireland,
thou friend of my country in my country's most friendless days,
much injured, much enduring land, accept this poor tribute from one
who
esteems thy worth, and mourns thy desolation."
George Washington, speaking of
Ireland's support
for America during the revolution. Montana
Road Report
-
Great Job MDOT! Everything you need to know about Montana Winter Roads.
Thoughts
While Waiting For St.
Patrick's Day
Paddy and
Murphy were walking down a road one day,
Paddy said, "Murphy, can you see that beautiful wood over
there?"
Murphy: "No I can't see, there's trees in the way!"
Jokes that go over like a lead balloon
“You've
got to do your own growing,
no matter how tall your grandfather was.”
Only
Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food
groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. Alex Levine
Good
Service Tip Of The Week “If you're lucky enough to be Irish, then
you're lucky enough.”
Classics
From The Capital City
Walls for the wind, And a
roof for the rain,
And drinks beside the fire, Laughter to cheer you
And those you love near you, And all that your heart may desire!
Want
something better for the kids? Western
Family TV has it. Channel 34
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Proverbs 19:5:
A false witness will not go unpunished,
and he who pours out lies will not go free.
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Oh Thank You, Thank You, I needed to know
this!
If 99.9% were good enough:
* 12 newborns would be given to the
wrong parents daily.
* 18,322 pieces of mail would be mishandled per hour.
* 20,000 incorrect drug prescriptions would be written per year.
* 3056 copies of tomorrow's Wall Street Journal would be missing
one of the three sections.
OWIM
(Oh Well It’s Monday) "Doctor, Doctor
there's an invisible man in your waiting room"
"Tell him I can't see him!"
***
"Doctor, Doctor, am I going to die?"
"That's the last thing you're going to do!"
***
"Doctor, Doctor, this ointment you gave me makes my arm smart."
"Why not rub some on your head?"
The Writer's Block “Who gossips with
you will gossip of you”
“I believe in the
sun when it's not shining, I believe in love even when
I feel it not, I believe in God even when he is silent.”
With the cost of food and health care skyrocketing,
AARP recently launched
AARP RealRelief, an online resource
to help people weather these tough economic times. Check out these
resources also: SNAP
Nutrition Assistance
for Montana residents having trouble purchasing food for the family
Good
Service Tip Of The Week
