If you cannot convince
them, confuse them. Pres. Harry Truman On
Lobbying
Bad
Joke Monday
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time and saving an hour.
With this economy it will be the only thing I'll save all year. Victor
Borge
A signature
tells a lot about a man, sometimes even his name. INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE Never give the Devil a ride,
he will always want to drive.
The Tech Support Caller
"Hello? The user guide says I need to unplug the fax machine
from the
AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning.
Can you give me the number so I can telephone Jack?".
Over
Heard in the Capitol Cafeteria
The idea that 150 Montana men and women can
spend 90 working days in close quarters, discussing, negotiating, and voting on
hundreds of bills without having
a cross word would suggest a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. Ed
Lobbyist:
I heard
of a politician who promised that, if he was elected,
he'd make certain everybody would have an above average income?
Instructions
For Life
On the bottom of an office memo:
"If you have any questions, please read again Lonnie Lonnquist
- Motivation & Humor For
Special Events Printer Jams
It's easier to get older than it
is to get wiser.
Thoughts
While Waiting For St.
Patrick's Day
"I have never met a man so ignorant
that I couldn't learn something from him." Galileo
-0-
If someone says The Hummer is pretty ugly, which is it?
-0-
"What a man thinks of himself, that is what determines,
or rather indicates, his fate." Thoreau -0-
"The only way to have a friend is to be one." Emerson
-0-
In great affairs men show themselves as they wish to be seen;
in small things they show themselves as they are. Nicholas Chamfort
-0-
Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors. Thomas
H. Huxley
Jokes that go over like a lead balloon
Texting Talk: AYPI: And Your Point Is? AWGTHTGTTA: Are We Going to Have to Go Through This
Again? BEG: Big Evil Grin HHO1/2 K: Ha HA, Only Half Kidding TYCLO: Turn Your CAPS LOCK OFF!
Good
Service Tip Of The Week Customers are volunteers. Covey
Classics
From The Capital City
There are two types of people--those who
come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.' Frederick L
Collins
-0-
Because things are the way they are,
things will not stay the way they
are. Bertolt Brecht
-0-
A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself
because he can't help
himself. Henry Morgan
-0-
There are only two kinds of scholars;
those who love ideas and those who
hate them. Emile Chartier
-0-
It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself
back. Mick Jagger
Want
something better for the kids? Western
Family TV has it. Channel 34
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Proverbs
24:17 Do not gloat when your enemy falls;
when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice.
><> <><
Oh Thank You, Thank You, I needed to know
this!
If quitters never win and winners never quit,
then who is the wise guy who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"
OWIM
(Oh Well It’s Monday)
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
Egotist: One who is me-deep in conversation.
The Writer's Block
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. Confucius
-0-
There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down,
the other is pulling up. Booker T. Washington
-0-
Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time
and you've lost part of your life. Michael Leboeuf
-0-
You can find on the outside only what you possess on the inside. Ballesteros
101
Local - Regional - National - World Wide News Links
Fortune
Cookie
The glory of great men should always be measured
by the means they have used to acquire it.
The
Final Word From Treebranch
A champion is someone who gets up when he can't. Jack Dempsey
With the cost of food and health care skyrocketing,
AARP recently launched
AARP RealRelief, an online resource
to help people weather these tough economic times. Check out these
resources also: SNAP
Nutrition Assistance
for Montana residents having trouble purchasing food for the family
Good
Service Tip Of The Week
