Montana Voices - Books - Music

Bad Joke Monday

Bob Hope: I knew they were golfers when: 
"I handed one guy the cream and sugar and he corrected my grip."

But I really knew he was a golfer 
when he took three lumps of sugar and wrote down two.

Anyone Without a Sense of Humor is at the Mercy of the Rest of Us!

     Instructions For Life
To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate
the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man's life.  T. S. Eliot
     
TWEET of the WEEK 
  "He who angers you conquers you." Elizabeth Kenny

Send in your best Tweet of the Week - We'll use it here

Thoughts While Watching Last Chance Stampede & Fair
The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who,
in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality. Dante

To educate a man in mind and not in morals
is to educate a menace to society. Theodore Roosevelt

It is less important to redistribute wealth 
than it is to redistribute opportunity. Arthur H. Vandenberg

There ain't no rules around here! 
We're trying to accomplish something!   Thomas Edison

Governments last as long as the under taxed can defend themselves
from the overtaxed. Bernard Berenson

For every benefit you receive a tax is levied. Ralph Waldo Emerson

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive;
easy to govern, but impossible to enslave. Henry Peter Brougham

                The Gas Guru - Find The Lowest Gas and Ethanol  Prices
                      

        Quote Of The Week
We the working people of the United States of America, in solidarity with our brothers and sisters around the world, respectfully request that this store offer for sale only goods and products made in countries where workers are paid an hourly wage equal to or greater than the hourly wage paid to employees of this store. Herb Treebranch

         Jokes that go over like a lead balloon
Caller: "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today."
Nurse Linda: "Are you light-headed?"
Caller: "No, I'm a brunette."

Q: How do you identify a bald eagle?
A: All of his feathers are combed to one side.

Montana Facts & Fun Web Site Of The Month: Pennyman.MtSky.com

       Good Service Tip Of The Week
Never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty
never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Sir Winston Churchill

Read The First Two Chapters of Pennyman here
Pennyman - Economic Terrorist By Lonnie Lonnquist, is a novel about a
Montana talk show host who has a plan to keep jobs from going overseas.

        Classics From The Capital City
More Church Lines (Thanks Alvin)
God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead.  
So why should you?

Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

Peace starts with a smile.

A lot of church members who are singing 
"Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.

We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

Be ye fishers of men.  You catch them - He'll clean them.

  Want something better for the kids?  Western Family TV Channel 34
                       ><>  <><
                  Proverbs 15:15
"He that has a merry heart has a continual feast"
                      ><>  <><

Fifty Cents an Hour The Builders and Boomtowns of the Fort Peck Dam
A great Montana book by Helena author/historian Lois Lonnquist  www.FortPeckBoomtowns.com

       Oh Thank You, Thank You, I needed to know this!
88% of kindergarten students got this one within 5 minutes,
while only 17% of Stanford seniors did. See how you do!
What is greater than God, More evil than Satan, Poor people have it
Rich people need it, If you eat it you will die
(OK, OK, We forgot to include the answer last week.)
The answer is: "Nothing

                 Oh Well It’s Monday
Church Lines - Courtesy of Alvin Fisher of Billings
Don't let your worries get the best of you;  remember, 
Moses started out as a basket case.

Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited
until you try to sit in their pews.

Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

When you get to your wit's end,  you'll find God lives there.

Opportunity may knock once, 
but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

     The Writer's Block
Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. Anonymous

There is only one real failure in life that is possible, and that is,
not to be true to the best one knows.  John Farrar (1945-) Australian Composer

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's
superiority to all that befalls him. Romain Gary (1914-1980) French Writer

Man's greatest actions are performed in minor struggles.  Life,
misfortune, isolation, abandonment and poverty are battlefields which
have their heroes - obscure heroes who are at times greater than
illustrious heroes. Victor Hugo (1802-1885) French Writer

I have found that the greatest help in meeting any problem with
decency and self-respect and whatever courage is demanded, is to know
where you yourself stand.  That is, to have in words what you believe
and are acting from.  William Faulkner (1897-1962) American Writer

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    Fortune Cookie(s)
The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions
by the application of reason. Marya Mannes

OWIM (Oh Well It’s Monday)
Patient:   Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
Doctor:   I'll deal with you later.

Patient:   Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep.
Doctor:   Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.

Montana Road Report - Great Job MDOT!

The Final Word From Treebranch  
Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same
number of hours each day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur,
Mother Teresa, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein.

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We Do Websites, Call us at 406-495-9554  Fortune@MtSky.com

Morning Coffee Jig Saw Puzzle  
  Puzzles For Kids (Adults too) | Literature Trivia Games

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May good fortune smile on you the whole week through! Treebranch
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