Bad Joke Monday
Bad Joke Monday CLEVER SIGNS Hotel: "Help!"
We need inn-experienced people Butcher shop: Pleased to meat you Auto body shop: May we have the next dents?
Instructions
For Life Your mind can only hold one thought at a time.
Make it a positive and constructive one.
Quote
Of The Week When written in Chinese, the word crisis is composed of two
characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity. John
F. Kennedy Montana
Facts & Fun Web Site Of The Week: Montana
Voices Oral History Project Over 60 interviews Thoughts
While Waiting For The End Of The Political Ads This election is about who's going to be
the next President of the United States! Dan Quayle
A low voter turnout is an
indication of fewer people going to the polls. Dan Quayle
We'd like to avoid problems,
because when we have problems, we can have troubles. Governor Wesley Bolin
The streets are safe in Philadelphia,
it's only the people who make them unsafe. Frank Rizzo, Mayor,
Philadelphia
The loss of life will be irreplaceable. Dan Quayle
We are not without accomplishment.
We have managed to distribute poverty equally. Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign
minister
We don't necessarily discriminate.
We simply exclude certain types of people. Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC
instructor
If you take out the killings,
Washington actually has a very low crime rate. Marion Barry, Mayor
Washington, D.C.
Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still
alive."
But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same
again."
Sen. Barbara Boxer
If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle
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Good
Service Tip Of The Week
Customers are volunteers - Stephen Covey
Fifty
Cents an HourThe Builders and Boomtowns of
the Fort Peck Dam by Helena author/historian Lois Lonnquistwww.FortPeckBoomtowns.com
Classics
From The Capital City
Labor disgraces no man;
unfortunately,
you occasionally find men who disgrace labor. Ulysses S. Grant
There are two kinds of people in the world:
those who put people into categories and those who don't. Mark Twain
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
When we tire of well-worn ways, we seek for new.
This restless craving in the souls of men spurs them to climb,
and to seek the mountain view. Ella Wheeler Wilcox
To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor,
to be given a chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life.
The money is the gravy. Bette Davis
The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the
impossible and achieve it, generation after generation. Pearl S. Buck
Man has never made any material as resilient as the human spirit. Bernard Williams (1929-) English Philosopher
Want
something better for the kids? Western
Family TV has it. Channel 34
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<>< Proverbs 14:23 All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
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Oh Thank You, Thank You, I needed to know
this! The letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.
Circus clowns have a "Face Registry"
to prevent other clowns from plagiarizing their faces.
An open faucet will send about 7 gallons of water down the drain every minute.
Don't let the water run while brushing your teeth or shaving,
and save at least 1000 gallons a year.
Happiness Is:
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills. Making the last car
payment.
Jokes that go over like a lead balloon
The future will be better tomorrow. Dan Quayle
SWIM
(Oh Well It’s Monday) Pain is temporary, pride is
forever.
Lonnie Lonnquist Comedy HourWebsite The Writer's Block
Music is the only language
in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. Erskine
Wherever I have gone in this
country, I have found Americans. Alf Landon, in a campaign speech while running against FDR
You can't just let nature run wild. Wally Hickel, former governor
of Alaska
I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new land,
and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves. John
Wayne
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